When she farted she launched herself into orbit.

She lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her…behind Mount Everest.

When I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

She could be the eighth continent.

She nearly put Safeway out of business

The only thing that’s attracted to her is gravity.

Her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

When she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

She make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

Her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

She wears an ‘X’ jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

She shows up on radar.

She needs a map to find her butt.

She fell into the Grand Canyon….and got stuck!

She wears an asteroid belt.

Her Passport photo says ‘Picture is continued overleaf’

she has TB … 2 bellys.

She’s once, twice, three times a lady.

The circus use her as a trampoline

Stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

When she opens the Fridge it says – ‘I give up…’

She got a new gig at the Cinema…she works as the screen

She once told me ‘I could eat a horse’…believe me, she wasn’t kidding!

Yo momma so fat, her belly button has an echo
Yo momma so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo momma so fat, that when she wears high heels, she strikes oil