Funny sayings and quotes

Funny sayings

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx

If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet?

Love your enemies. It’ll make ‘em crazy.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
Anonymous

I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
Ken Dodd

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
J.B. Morton

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink. Anonymous

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
Henry David Thoreau

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy, Shrek

I found a great way to attract money… work!
Curtis D. Tucker

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.
Holmes

If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits?

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

I am in my own little world but it’s okay they know me here.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.

Finally things will start clicking…your elbow, knees and back!

Where there are no swamps there are no frogs.
German Proverb